ok so food for today:
1/4 cup oatmeal with honey and cinnamon for breakfast = 96 cals
lunch I was going to have brown rice pasta with veggies but my boss and another woman were getting wonton soup with a spring roll for lunch, so I said I would too. What I didn’t know that the wontons and spring rolls had beef in them and it was a little yucky and I really really hate red meat. Of course, I just paid 12 bucks for them and didn’t want to make a scene and stuff so I ate it. That’s around 388 cals.
For my snacks I had cucumber with italian vinaigrette, lemon sorbet, and a sugarless sugar cookie, around 270 cals.
total so far was 754 cals.
Then I was going to have my pasta for dinner but in the car I had a few peanut butter candy eggs. then a stick of gum. then a jellybean. then like 7 little toblerone chocolates. then a lindt chocolate bunny. then a chocolate egg. then a pack of lifesavers. then a bowl of tostitos. then the last piece of vanilla easter cake. then another chocolate egg.
WHAT THE FUCK DUDES HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!
Every time I lose a teeny tiny amount of weight I think, oh it’s easy! I can have a little bit of this (insert name of shitty sugary thing here) and it’ll be fine. And then a little bit turns into a lot and then a lot turns into a lot of something else until I’ve eaten every fucking SHITTY thing in my house. Once I start I feel like I can’t stop and that I need to eat all of the things that kind of tempt me because then they’re GONE and I can’t eat more. Except that generally means I eat a gastronomic amount and make myself sick and gain 40973343 pounds and then feel like shit. And the thing is, that cake tasted like crap. The chocolate eggs weren’t even good eggs. The chips were way too salty to eat by themselves. I didn’t ENJOY any of it but I still kept going.
How do you deal with binges? Can you control them, or do you have any tips to turn yourself off of food that’s bad for you?