The Difference A Year Makes
I started this blog about a year ago as a weight loss blog, under the URL jeveuxdetremince (translates to ‘I want to be thin’ in English). When I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a person with extra fat to lose, and no muscles or strength. I found the tumblr thinspo community, and became enthralled with all these skinny, beautiful girls I saw photos of. I wanted to weigh less than a hundred pounds, thinking i would look better if I was as tiny as possible.
I wrote this in my first post: “I want to be skinny.
Like tiny and pretty and that girl that a boy wouldn’t want to squeeze too hard because he might break her, but also be strong enough that I won’t die if he does.
I want a body like Megan Fox, and to get rid of the baby fat in my face.
I want to stop binge eating sweets, which makes me feel terrible.
I want to be healthy and athletic looking, be the envy of all the other girls at the beach.
I want [redacted] to notice me again, and see what he’s missing.”
I struggled for the first few weeks, often trying to restrain myself from eating too much then turning around and eating until I felt like I would puke. I never lost a monumental amout of weight, and I became really frustrated and even more disappointed in myself.
At the beginning of the summer, I think I got tired of a lot of the girls’ attitudes on tumblr. I decided I didn’t want to look ‘skinny fat’ at all, nor did I want to be reading so much about the latest starvation technique. I started looking for the guys who were doing it right, who were killing it in the gym or on the road, or wherever. I found Ryan and the Male Fitblr Directory, where I promptly added almost every single guy on the list. I slowly replaced all of the thinspo blogs with training journals and blogs posting fitness articles. I started talking and interacting with the people I identified with, and somehow made a bunch of friends from around the continent, and met/”met” some of the most influential people in my life.
Throughout the year, I’ve gained about 5 pounds. I’ve lost 5 inches off my waist. Gained 3 inches on my ass. Gained confidence. Gained an enormous amount of mental and physical strength. Made friends. Lost friends. Found my independence. Stopped eating almost everything. Started eating all the things. Grew two inches. Ran really long. Skated really fast. Lifted really heavy. Figured out that I really do like myself as I am, though I will always strive to be better.
Thanks for a great year, guys!