Do you ever look back at photos of yourself and wonder how you ever thought of yourself a certain way?
This was taken a couple years ago, at the beginning of my first year at my current school. After a crazy year of going from being a girlfriend to single, a figure skater to slightly more of a couch potato, bottomless pit to conscious vegetarian.
My first year of university was a bad one. I had never felt like something was so wrong with myself, and changed probably quite drastically. I didn’t experience the freshman fifteen, I got the freshman negative three. I’ve always been a little insecure about how I look, but that year was one of the worst ones.
This photo was one of the first few where I was REALLY happy again, even if I didn’t love how I looked. But as I was flipping through some old photos today, I noticed things I had previously seen in a totally different way.
Where I saw too-big hips, I now see pretty skinny legs… Sure I hardly had muscle mass, but I was nowhere near the awkwardly large girl that I felt. It still surprises me that I can buy things in the sizes I do and have them fit, even though it’s been a long, long time since I was bigger than I am.
I dunno, I’m hoping this is the beginning of closing the disconnect between how I see myself and how I really look.